So, awhile back I found an article, and I can't even remember who wrote it or what article it was, but I remember one of the pieces of advice from it. Try writing for at least ten minutes a day. That was it, whatever comes into your head, for ten minutes, just write. I took this advice to heart and really made some solid progress in my focus and ability to write (not enough to post articles on a regular basis, obviously) I went digging through them earlier this evening and found this little goofy gem that I had entirely forgotten about. The following is a slightly polished version of what I found in my bin of 10 Minute challenges, enjoy. (WARNING, you may only enjoy this if you are a little bit of a Tolkien nerd, a condition also known as having been homeschooled)
Today we take a look at Conversations that could never happen, on today’s installment, we watch as Aragorn, son of Arathorn talks with... Aragorn, son of... Arathorn, wait what?
Aragorn: I’m from the Book.
Aragorn: And I’m from the movie.
Host: Aren't you the same character?
Book Aragorn: We’re different enough to have this be entertaining.
Movie Aragorn: It’s true.
Host: Alright, then, um, I mean, You guys are both on your way to becoming the King of Gondor, right?
Movie Aragorn: Well, I’m not sure I want or am worthy for that Burden.
Book Aragorn: Really? Lord Elrond said that was the only way I could marry Arwen.
Movie Aragorn: He did? He just told me no at first.
Book Aragorn: Oh, well, anyway, my only internal struggles came from whether to follow my path or to help Frodo follow his.
Movie Aragorn: I had that too, but he seemed pretty set on just going by himself when I talked to him.
Book Aragorn: And you let him go?
Movie Aragorn: You mean you did not?
Book Aragorn: I never got to talk to him, He disappeared and I never found him. But you didn't counsel with him to make the right choice?
Movie Aragorn: Well, there was a small army of Uruk-Hai attacking us, so I had to make sure he got away.
Book Aragorn: Wait, what, a small army? I never fought a small army, Boromir felled about twenty, and Legolas and Gimli slew a few, but I missed all the actual combat.
Movie Aragorn: I did not. there were thirty or so that charged me.
Book Aragorn: And you slew all of them?
Movie Aragorn: Well, most of them, Legolas and Gimli came to help a bit, then I heard Boromir’s horn call and had to go find him.
Book Aragorn: There our journey’s must continue similarly, for after I found Boromir, we set his body on a boat.
Movie Aragorn: You mean after you had confronted the uruk Commander?
Book Aragorn: I Beg your pardon? the orcs, men, and uruks were all dead when I arrived.
Movie Aragorn: Odd, no men or even orcs were there, but there was only one survivor when I arrived, a foul captain of the uruks, defeating him was no simple task.
Book Aragorn: Well, I’m sure Anduril made short work of him in the end, regardless, after that I trust our visit to Rohan went along pretty much the same?
Movie Aragorn: I did not have Anduril at the time.
Book Aragorn: But did you not have it reforged during the Council of Elrond?
Movie Aragorn: No, I did not, I mentioned I wasn't sure if I could or even wanted to claim the crown.
Book Aragorn: Wherever did you get it then?
Movie Aragorn: Elrond visited just before my entrance into the paths of the dead.
Book Aragorn: You did not have Anduril until then?
Movie Aragorn: No, but it was a great help once I entered the Paths of the Dead.
Book Aragorn: Well, of course it was, I could not see how one could endure to command that army without it’s power.
Movie Aragorn: I realize that, now shall we compare our notes on what occurred in Rohan?
Book Aragorn: So you went through Moria, Amon Hen, in which you apparently faced swarms of foes-
Movie Aragorn: Not swarms, I would estimate no more than a hundred, and we felled about two thirds of them. We fought at least that many in Moria, though they were only Goblins. They did have a Cave troll, to even those odds, however, so maybe it was just as worthy a fight.
Book Aragorn: And you felled all those in Moria, I Suppose?
Movie Aragorn: Well, Legolas was the one who finally knocked the troll down, but otherwise we did slay a great many of them, though we could not face the thousands that flowed after us when we reached the halls near Khazad-Dum.
Book Aragorn: .... Of course not.
Movie Aragorn: It was you who killed the troll was it not Legolas?
Pan over to Legolas and Gimli who are talking to another set of Legolas and Gimli.
Movie Legolas: Aye, Aragorn, that was my deed, though not without help. (back to other Legolas and Gimli) As I was saying, AFTER all that, it was as simple as driving a few arrows into the Murmakil’s crown, and riding down it’s trunk when it fell.
Movie Gimli: I still argue that should have only counted-
Cut back to the Aragorns.
Book Aragorn: Let me guess, there were one hundred thousand orcs at Helm’s Deep.
Movie Aragorn: No, there were Ten thousand strong.
Book Aragorn: that seems better, but I am forced to also assume that it was just you and Legolas, the dwarf and maybe Theoden.
Movie Aragorn: No, we feared for our lives, but Haldir came with an Alliance of Elves to help us fend off the armies.
Book Aragorn: Now wait one moment, that is wholly unfair, I had no assistance from the Elves after Lorien, and never in combat!
Behind him is book Legolas, who simply stares at him for a moment, then leaves.
Movie Aragorn: Well done.
Host: This has been a fascinating look at what would happen if two different versions of the same character meet.Tune in next time to see Nolan’s Batman meet Adam West.
West: So, after I was duly deputized by the Commissioner, I and my youthful ward fought crime, and made sure all Children knew the perils of evil and how Justice is an important part of being a good citizen. I’d often go to Children’s events in costume and I always enjoyed the way the children’s eye would light up when they saw us coming. Of course one time the penguin tried to spoil our fun by rigging a penguin shaped parade balloon to release a foul smelling batch of rotten tuna on everyone, so they’d have to buy his new Umbrella brand Laundry Detergent, but we put the kibosh on that and the Mayor rewarded us with the key to the city, which was I believe the third time that happened.
Nolan Batman: (looooong beat, then to someone off-screen) SELINA! PACK YOUR THINGS, WE’RE MOVING! (Back to Adam West) Now how do we get to your dimension, again?
Cut back to the Aragorns
Book Aragorn: So you just cut off his head?
Movie Aragorn: It seemed like a good idea!
Faramir walks in.
Faramir: so... I just slapped myself. or rather, not myself, but, (sees two Aragorns) You probably understand.
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